Working to Transform Abuse & Cruelty to Empathy, Courage, Redemption, and Kindness.


Why This Work Matters


Sibling abuse is the most common form of family violence and yet, is practically invisible when discussions of abuse in families occur.

Sibling abuse is more prevalent than spousal abuse or parent to child abuse. As recently as February, 2020, Psychology Today reported that there is no definition of sibling abuse or laws governing it – except for some sexual abuse laws. Up to 80% of youth experience some form of sibling
maltreatment, yet its been called the “forgotten abuse.” It is also frequently referred to as a “silent epidemic.” Sibling rivalry is so prevalent in our society that when it crosses the line and becomes abuse, it is dismissed. It is long overdue for sibling abuse to be recognized and taken seriously.


• American Red Cross – Humanitarian Award

• L’Oreal Paris – Women of Worth

• Department of Health and Human Services, Commissioners Award

• Kansas Department of Corrections, Karl Menninger Award

• President Bush’s 900th Point of Light

• Prevention of Child Abuse America, Donna Stone Award

• Kansas Children’s Service League, Distinguished Service to Children Award

* Reaching Out From Within, Strength Through Unity Award

• University of Missouri at Kansas City School of Education Award, Alumni Award

• Daily Point of Light Awards

• YWCA Hearts of Gold Award

• Sigma Delta Tau Sorority – Outstanding Alumni Award

• Diplomatic Courier Award – 1 of 100 Top Global Women of the World

• Park University, Outstanding Alumni Award – 2017

• Child Welfare League of America – 1 of 100 Outstanding Citizens, 2019

• Junior League of Kansas City, MO – Branton/Hall Community Collaborator Award, 2020

What Educators & Parents Say About SuEllen Fried


About SuEllen Fried

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SuEllen Fried has been a passionate advocate for children since 1976 and firmly believes that bullying is a form of child abuse. She and her daughter, Paula Fried, Ph.D., co-authored “Bullies & Victims: Helping Your Child Through the Schoolyard Battlefield” in 1996, three years before the Columbine tragedy and “Bullies, Targets & Witnesses: Helping Children Break the Pain Chain” in 2003. A third book, “Banishing Bullying Behavior -Transforming the Culture of Pain, Rage & Revenge” co-authored with Blanche Sosland, PhD, was released in 2009. In 2005 she co-authored, with Lynn Lang, a workbook, “30 Activities for Getting Better at Getting Along”. In 2002, she founded BullySafeUSA, an organization that conducts “Train the Trainer” programs, speaks at conferences, and works with school districts to develop a comprehensive approach to prevent bullying. She has appeared on Good Morning America, the TODAY Show, MSNBC, and was featured on an A&E Documentary, Bill Kurtis Reports, “Bullied to Death.” Read More

Speaking & Training

"It’s Time to Acknowledge Sibling Bullying—and its Lifelong Consequences." ​

“For the past few decades, I have spent many rewarding hours in schools talking with students—over 70,000 of them and with 15,000 counselors, educators, administrators, and parents. Whether I am in New York, California, Ohio, or Florida, I collect the same information from students –whether in public, private, parochial, rural, suburban or inner-city schools. Children are hurting!” 

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“I have been a volunteer for the Kansas Department of Corrections for over 40 years. Over these four decades, I have connected with thousands of incarcerated men and women who have been physically, verbally, emotionally and sexually abused –most often by family members. My involvement in the prevention of child abuse has coincided with my volunteering in prisons.”

— SuEllen Fried

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“Sibling Violence is the most common form of abuse in families – more than between husbands and wives, or parents and children.”

—Professor Mark Kiselica PhD, Author of “Sibling Maltreatment: The Forgotten Abuse”

Books & Publications

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Siblings: Bullying, Betrayal and Bonding Across the Lifespan

Sibling relationships are one of the longest bonds we will experience. Whether it’s a profound, irreplaceable connection or one fraught with hurt and pain, it can significantly affect us over the course of our lifetime. Sibling bullying has been around since the beginning of time – think Cain and Abel – but this highly toxic subject has never received the attention it deserved, like the more common peer bullying that exists in schools. SuEllen Fried’s fifth and latest book on bullying, Siblings: Bullying, Betrayal and Bonding Over the Lifespan, evolved from her 25 years of interaction with students in 37 states.

Banishing Bullying Behavior

Presents a blueprint to reduce the pain, rage and revenge cycle of bullying.

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Bullies & Victims

Charts the course of bullying following the tragic multiple school shootings in the late 90’s.

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Bullies, Targets, & Witnesses

A basic handbook about bullying prevention and intervention.

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30 Activities for Getting Better or Getting Along

An interactive, timely, adaptable workbook to deal with bullying issues. 

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"We Need Intentional Acts of Kindness."

From the Huffington Post:

“To continue spreading compassion outside the walls of Kansas state penitentiaries, Fried wears a pin every day that reads, ‘Power Of Kindness.’ In the course of the day, she gives it away to someone she sees performing an act of kindness.

‘I carry a bunch in my purse to give away,’ she says, smiling. She often gives them away on plane trips when she sees someone give up a good seat for a worse one so that a family can sit together, Fried says.

Recognizing and celebrating acts of kindness, Fried explains, is the best way to spread a spirit of giving and encourage others to act with empathy.

‘We need more than just random acts of kindness,’ Fried says. ‘We need intentional acts of kindness.'”

Contact SuEllen Fried

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