Following a statewide training session I conducted for school counselors many years ago, a counselor approached me at the end of the day and suggested that I stop using the term bullying and speak about peer abuse. She told me that at the beginning of the session when I referred to bullying as a form of child abuse, she thought I was exaggerating and was turned off by my use of drama to make a point. But by the end of the session, based on information shared by other counselors and me, she concluded that bullying is a benign term and is part of the \u201cboys will be boys\u201d \u201call kids are cruel\u201d \u201cit\u2019s a rite of passage\u201d mythology. She expressed the need to use more serious language in order for the issue to be taken more seriously.<\/p>\n
I truly believe that bullying is a form of child abuse. All of our state laws only define child abuse when the perpetrator is an adult. When I ask children to give me a definition of child abuse, they speak of \u201cparents who beat their children,\u201d \u201cswear at them,\u201d \u201cdiscipline them for no good reason,\u201d \u201cneglect their kids.\u201d They have little patience for adults who behave this way. But when we start discussing bullying, they talk about \u201cbeating someone up,\u201d \u201cswearing and cursing,\u201d \u201cpicking on others for fun,\u201d \u201cignoring and rejecting kids.\u201d My response is: \u201cIf someone is in pain, it doesn\u2019t matter whether the person that is causing the pain is your parent or your peer. If someone is suffering, it doesn\u2019t matter whether the person who is making them suffer is 35 or 12.\u201d<\/p>\n
In my workshops and my writing, I interchange the terms \u201cbullying\u201d and \u201cpeer abuse.\u201d<\/p>\n
When those terms become more synonymous perhaps it will move us to see bullying less as child\u2019s play and more as child abuse. The school shootings and the youth suicides are testimony to the fact that until the consequences become dire, adults tend to dismiss the<\/p>\n
facts. If we had intervened at an earlier stage, held students accountable for their hurtful acts, made it clear that unacceptable behaviors would not be tolerated and reached out to counsel both bulliers and targets maybe children wouldn\u2019t have resorted to such extreme actions to get our attention.<\/p>\n
The least we can do is call cruelty between young people what it really is \u2013 child abuse.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m interested in your opinions on this issue.<\/p>\n
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Following a statewide training session I conducted for school counselors many years ago, a counselor approached me at the end of the day and suggested that I stop using the term bullying and speak about peer abuse. She told me that at the beginning of the session when I referred to bullying as a form […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":453,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"ocean_post_layout":"","ocean_both_sidebars_style":"","ocean_both_sidebars_content_width":0,"ocean_both_sidebars_sidebars_width":0,"ocean_sidebar":"0","ocean_second_sidebar":"0","ocean_disable_margins":"enable","ocean_add_body_class":"","ocean_shortcode_before_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_after_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_before_header":"","ocean_shortcode_after_header":"","ocean_has_shortcode":"","ocean_shortcode_after_title":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_bottom":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_bottom":"","ocean_display_top_bar":"default","ocean_display_header":"default","ocean_header_style":"","ocean_center_header_left_menu":"0","ocean_custom_header_template":"0","ocean_custom_logo":0,"ocean_custom_retina_logo":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_height":0,"ocean_header_custom_menu":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_family":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_subset":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_size":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_unit":"px","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_line_height":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_unit":"","ocean_menu_typo_spacing":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_unit":"","ocean_menu_link_color":"","ocean_menu_link_color_hover":"","ocean_menu_link_color_active":"","ocean_menu_link_background":"","ocean_menu_link_hover_background":"","ocean_menu_link_active_background":"","ocean_menu_social_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_links_color":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_color":"","ocean_disable_title":"default","ocean_disable_heading":"default","ocean_post_title":"","ocean_post_subheading":"","ocean_post_title_style":"","ocean_post_title_background_color":"","ocean_post_title_background":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_image_position":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_attachment":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_repeat":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_size":"","ocean_post_title_height":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay":0.5,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay_color":"","ocean_disable_breadcrumbs":"default","ocean_breadcrumbs_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_separator_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_hover_color":"","ocean_display_footer_widgets":"default","ocean_display_footer_bottom":"default","ocean_custom_footer_template":"0","ocean_post_oembed":"","ocean_post_self_hosted_media":"","ocean_post_video_embed":"","ocean_link_format":"","ocean_link_format_target":"self","ocean_quote_format":"","ocean_quote_format_link":"post","ocean_gallery_link_images":"off","ocean_gallery_id":[]},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n